Doyle-Davidson was an utter embarrassment back in the eighties when I was a kid, I remember coming back from some middle class museum or some such that my parents forced me to go to on a Sunday in an effort to prevent me from becoming the idiotic character that I now am and listening to his commentary.
It went like this;
"Oh, the ball is on the ground".
"" Norton plays the ball, passes to Tindall, good tackle from Fox".
"" Fox advances ".
" I was watching a squirrel yesterday".
"The pitch is heavy".
" Rovers (dramatically over arched RP accent) have the ball"
"Crooks has it".
" The crowd rise unanticipated belligerence ".
" Hull are camped on the line".
"A heron ate my goldfish, and I think my ghost Koi carp".
" Rovers score, Ema, under the posts, Garry Clarke won't miss this".