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Re: OT - have a laugh Tue Nov 12, 2019 12:36 pm  

User avatarPumpetypump wrote:
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This made me laugh a lot. However be warned I am a weirdo so you may not share my amusement:

https://twitter.com/mstrpotatohead/stat ... 51297?s=20
Re: OT - have a laugh Wed Nov 13, 2019 9:57 am  

User avatarWillzay wrote:
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My wife suffers from a drinking problem.”
-
“Oh is she an alcoholic?”
-
“No, I am, but she’s the one who suffers.”
Profit over Lives - The Tory way
Re: OT - have a laugh Wed Nov 13, 2019 10:22 am  

User avatarthepimp007 wrote:
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Pumpetypump wrote:
This made me laugh a lot. However be warned I am a weirdo so you may not share my amusement:

https://twitter.com/mstrpotatohead/stat ... 51297?s=20


WOW that is absolutely brilliant! I was howling, as the tweeter put, THE CHRUS hahahaaa
Re: OT - have a laugh Thu Nov 14, 2019 5:30 am  

User avatarBlotto wrote:
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Location: 2.5 hrs North of Newcastle. 8 hrs South of Brisbane
One morning a little old lady wanders into a local fishmongers and asked for a piece of cod, the Fishmonger said I'm sorry Madam we are out of cod till tomorrow come back then , ok said the lady and goes on her way.
Around lunchtime she comes back in and the Fishmonger says what can I get you Madam, I'd like a nice piece of cod please, sorry Madam as I've already said we won't have any in till tomorrow come back then. ok she says and wanders off.
Later in the day at closing time she comes in again and the Fishmonger rolls his eyes and asks exasperatedly what would like Madam. I'd like a nice piece of cod please.
How do you spell cod madam? c o d she replied, no it isn't it's spelled c o f d said the Fishmonger.
She thinks about it for a minute and then says there is no f in cod! The Fishmonger replied that's what I've been trying to tell you!
The phrase politically correct is in itself politcally incorrect so should be rephrased politically stupid!

If you like old type radio comedy/ dramas etc listen to //pumpkinfm.com/

Statistically speaking you have a better chance of getting dead the older you get!

Thank god only when you find a religion that passes the truth test!
Re: OT - have a laugh Thu Nov 14, 2019 7:59 pm  
Marvin Goolash Strong-running second rower
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Joined: Wed Dec 06, 2017 5:30 pm
Posts: 328
Wife walks into the kitchen and says to her husband,didn't you hear me just fall down the stairs? He says no sorry love I thought it was the start of Eastenders.
Re: OT - have a laugh Fri Nov 15, 2019 9:56 am  

User avatarPumpetypump wrote:
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Joined: Wed Jan 02, 2002 12:55 pm
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"Won't you kiss me doctor" says a female patiently longingly.

The doctor replies, "Absolutely not, it would be completely against my code of ethics."

"Please. Just one kiss" she pleads.

"It's completely out of the question" says the doctor, "I shouldn't even really be having sex with you".
Re: OT - have a laugh Fri Nov 15, 2019 11:21 am  

Downbutnotout Stevo's Armpit

Joined: Wed Mar 30, 2016 7:17 pm
Posts: 73
Car breaks down in a country lane outside a small cottage. As the driver is leaning over under the bonnet a young lady appears out of the cottage. She says 'would you like a screwdriver' to which he replies 'That's very nice of you but I haven't really got time I must get this car fixed.
Re: OT - have a laugh Fri Nov 22, 2019 9:11 pm  

User avatarClearwing wrote:
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Ever wondered why the Saudis don't like the Flintstones but the people of Abu Dhabi do?
"Look, I'd never use injuries as an excuse..." Daryl Powell
Re: OT - have a laugh Fri Jan 08, 2021 2:55 pm  

User avatarPumpetypump wrote:
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I found this was very relaxing when I was feeling stressed.

This Video is Hosted on Youtube : Users should see the AUP for allowable uses
Re: OT - have a laugh Fri Jan 08, 2021 6:05 pm  

M@islebugs wrote:
M@islebugs Free-scoring winger
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Joined: Mon May 09, 2011 2:31 pm
Posts: 1760
An owl's just flown into the kitchen, dried all me cups and plates. Couldn't believe it. Must have been a Teat Owl.
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Melbourne 19 689 224 465 34
Penrith 19 521 228 293 32
Souths 19 613 382 231 32
Parramatta 19 484 295 189 26
Sydney 19 509 343 166 26
Manly 19 569 400 169 24
Gold Coast 19 460 484 -24 16
Cronulla 19 392 458 -66 16
 
Canberra 19 383 465 -82 16
St.George 19 382 464 -82 16
Newcastle 19 325 472 -147 16
NZ Warriors 19 373 502 -129 12
Wests 19 412 564 -152 12
NQL Cowboys 19 358 584 -226 12
Brisbane 19 331 578 -247 10
Canterbury 19 242 600 -358 4
This is an inplay table and positions can change as matches are in play.
Betfred Super League XXVI ROUND : 17
 PLDFADIFFPTSDIFFWP%
Catalans 16 482 262 220 30 183.97 93.75
St.Helens 13 328 106 222 22 309.43 84.62
Warrington 15 456 247 209 23 184.62 76.67
Wigan 17 305 295 10 22 103.39 64.71
Hull FC 14 308 279 29 15 110.39 53.57
Leeds 16 380 290 90 16 131.03 50
 
Hull KR 12 287 267 20 12 107.49 50
Castleford 15 267 388 -121 12 68.81 40
Huddersfield 16 278 334 -56 10 83.23 31.25
Salford 14 237 405 -168 8 58.52 28.57
Wakefield 16 279 394 -115 8 70.81 25
Leigh 14 218 558 -340 0 39.07 0
This is an inplay table and positions can change as matches are in play.
Betfred Championship 2021 ROUND : 16
 PLDFADIFFPTSDIFFWP%
Toulouse 10 456 94 362 20 485.11 100
Featherstone 14 579 189 390 26 306.35 92.86
Halifax 15 422 220 202 22 191.82 73.33
LondonB 14 404 357 47 19 113.17 67.86
Batley 15 404 302 102 20 133.77 66.67
Bradford 14 375 339 36 18 110.62 64.29
 
Whitehaven 15 297 410 -113 13 72.44 43.33
Widnes 14 323 378 -55 11 85.45 39.29
Sheffield 14 313 413 -100 11 75.79 39.29
Newcastle 14 298 420 -122 11 70.95 39.29
York 14 345 327 18 10 105.50 35.71
Dewsbury 14 215 401 -186 9 53.62 32.14
Oldham 14 210 500 -290 4 42 14.29
Swinton 15 256 547 -291 2 46.80 6.67
This is an inplay table and positions can change as matches are in play.
Betfred League One 2021 ROUND : 13
 PLDFADIFFPTSDIFFWP%
Barrow 11 382 162 220 19 235.80 86.36
Workington 9 334 158 176 15 211.39 83.33
Doncaster 11 348 251 97 15 138.65 68.18
Crusaders 11 350 322 28 12 108.70 54.55
Keighley 12 410 279 131 13 146.95 54.17
Hunslet 12 334 301 33 11 110.96 45.83
 
Coventry 11 258 264 -6 10 97.73 45.45
Rochdale 11 299 322 -23 10 92.86 45.45
LondonS 12 192 350 -158 7 54.86 29.17
West Wales 12 126 586 -460 0 21.50 0
This is an inplay table and positions can change as matches are in play.
Betfred Womens Super League 2021 ROUND : 9
 PLDFADIFFPTSDIFFWP%
LeedsW 7 364 38 326 14 957.89 100
St.HelensW 7 370 36 334 12 1,027.78 85.71
WiganW 6 222 64 158 10 346.88 83.33
YorkW 6 186 102 84 8 182.35 66.67
CastlefordW 6 166 96 70 8 172.92 66.67
BradfordW 8 158 264 -106 6 59.85 37.50
 
Hudds W 7 104 288 -184 4 36.11 28.57
Wire W 8 150 334 -184 4 44.91 25
FeatherstoneW 8 122 338 -216 4 36.09 25
WakefieldW 7 50 332 -282 0 15.06 0
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