Re: Ryan Bailey : Thu Jan 21, 2016 6:41 pm  

Clearwing wrote:

It seems utterly bizarre to focus on a handful of (alleged) instances of faked depression in the face of the statistical evidence and peer-reviewed literature that confirm depression to be both widespread and under-reported within the population. As for knowing Bailey for 25 years, I dare say Gary Speed's death - just one example of many - came as a shock to some who'd known him for a similar period. Many people show a tremendous capacity for hiding what's inside.

I'm sure their could be under reporting of depression within our population, but it would be extremely naive to think that "fake" depression is not also under reported. Unfortunately, human nature is to take advantage of anything that could could possibly give us a bit of a "leg up" in certain situations. Fake depression will be used as a tool by many people on a daily basis in this country, it's just the way society works. As depression becomes more widely diagnosed, a number of those diagnosed, possibly growing, will be bogus. I've known more than a handful of people feign depression, to receive enhanced redundancy payments, to receive a smaller prison sentence, and some to just make their lives generally easier for themselves. I've also lost friends to suicide, and have wider family members that are diagnosed and medicated for depression. Depression is a terrible thing to suffer, but also it has become more acceptable to "adopt" the condition when it suits certain people's circumstances.

Re: Ryan Bailey : Thu Jan 21, 2016 7:05 pm  

leeds owl wrote:

I'm sure their could be under reporting of depression within our population, but it would be extremely naive to think that "fake" depression is not also under reported. Unfortunately, human nature is to take advantage of anything that could could possibly give us a bit of a "leg up" in certain situations. Fake depression will be used as a tool by many people on a daily basis in this country, it's just the way society works. As depression becomes more widely diagnosed, a number of those diagnosed, possibly growing, will be bogus. I've known more than a handful of people feign depression, to receive enhanced redundancy payments, to receive a smaller prison sentence, and some to just make their lives generally easier for themselves. I've also lost friends to suicide, and have wider family members that are diagnosed and medicated for depression. Depression is a terrible thing to suffer, but also it has become more acceptable to "adopt" the condition when it suits certain people's circumstances.

Which completely misses the point that there is a massive stigma attached to mental health...we're in catch-22 (the book) and one flew over a cukoos nest territory here - to fake depression you'd probably need to have a mental health issue!

Re: Ryan Bailey : Thu Jan 21, 2016 7:11 pm  

Aside from the vocal minority, there are some really inspiration posts on here.

My father is bi-polar (and has been basically for all my life) and I've recently admitted to myself/been diagnosed with depression. Thankfully I have a really good gp (my dad on the other hand doesn't).

It's poop and the stigma/perceived stigma is huge. Literally the only people that know about my diagnosis (about 6mths in) are my GP, my therapist and my wife. I can guarantee that any of my friends or colleagues would be utterly suprised if I told them. Like most (male) depressives I am f*ing amazing at keeping up appearances.

So anyone like bailey that can come out publically deserves respect in my book.

Re: Ryan Bailey : Thu Jan 21, 2016 7:16 pm  

I think it'd be good to share one of the best quotes I've come accross, its from the author Matt Haig and sums up depression and anxiety way better than I ever could...

Matt Haig wrote:

Having anxiety and depression is like being scared and tired at the same time.
It’s the fear of failure but no urge to be productive.
It’s wanting friends but hate socializing.
It’s wanting to be alone but not wanting to be lonely.
It’s caring about everything then caring about nothing.
It’s feeling everything at once then feeling paralyzingly nothing.

Re: Ryan Bailey : Thu Jan 21, 2016 7:28 pm  

That is spot on.

My head feels like a contradiction all the time.

I nearly took my life mid December just gone and if only for a random drunken accidental phone call off my sister at 0130am early Saturday morning, i wouldn't be here now, notes written, finances sorted all plans in place sat in a country lane in Codicote, Hertfordshire.
Part of you wants to go and another part of looks for anything, any small reason to keep you here. Every day through November and December i had an internal fight to carry on or end it and it was a fight i only recently won due to heavy support and strong medication and me being honest, you need to reach out to people otherwise it can overtake you.

Re: Ryan Bailey : Thu Jan 21, 2016 8:10 pm  

Wire Yed wrote:

That is spot on.

My head feels like a contradiction all the time.

I nearly took my life mid December just gone and if only for a random drunken accidental phone call off my sister at 0130am early Saturday morning, i wouldn't be here now, notes written, finances sorted all plans in place sat in a country lane in Codicote, Hertfordshire.
Part of you wants to go and another part of looks for anything, any small reason to keep you here. Every day through November and December i had an internal fight to carry on or end it and it was a fight i only recently won due to heavy support and strong medication and me being honest, you need to reach out to people otherwise it can overtake you.

Your honesty is massively impressive, glad you got the help and support you needed.

Re: Ryan Bailey : Thu Jan 21, 2016 8:36 pm  

The quote above someone posted is so spot on....

"Matt Haig wrote:
Having anxiety and depression is like being scared and tired at the same time.
It’s the fear of failure but no urge to be productive.
It’s wanting friends but hate socializing.
It’s wanting to be alone but not wanting to be lonely.
It’s caring about everything then caring about nothing.
It’s feeling everything at once then feeling paralyzingly nothing."

Honestly just hearing that others on here have had similar troubles (I don't wish they had btw) is a real eye opener for me as you often feel like no one else has a clue about what you're going through. As great as friends and family can be, hearing from someone who has/is going through the same makes such a difference.

Re: Ryan Bailey : Thu Jan 21, 2016 8:56 pm  

One thing that doesn't support mental health is spending too much time on line and believing some peoples views are representative of the majority.

I've had a predisposition towards depression for about 20 years, and it's only in recent years that ive opened up about it since getting to a point where I didn't want to go on anymore. On top of what is a family history of mental illness I also suffered debilitating arthritis (now controlled with weekly injections) and I had also planned a family with a girlfriend who then had a termination against my will, I'd never been to a lower place.

Through all of this I've used my career in sport development and voluntary coaching (in my 13th year) to give me a purpose. I've worked incredibly hard to better myself through these outlets, seeing a councillor for the last 2 1/2 years and taking medication aswell as overcoming the shame of it and opening up to others. It could have been very easy to give in completely, and I have been at that point, but I feel I deserve more.

Good to hear so many empathetic people.

Re: Ryan Bailey : Thu Jan 21, 2016 10:20 pm  

Wire Yed wrote:

That is spot on.

My head feels like a contradiction all the time.

I nearly took my life mid December just gone and if only for a random drunken accidental phone call off my sister at 0130am early Saturday morning, i wouldn't be here now, notes written, finances sorted all plans in place sat in a country lane in Codicote, Hertfordshire.
Part of you wants to go and another part of looks for anything, any small reason to keep you here. Every day through November and December i had an internal fight to carry on or end it and it was a fight i only recently won due to heavy support and strong medication and me being honest, you need to reach out to people otherwise it can overtake you.

Well done for being so brave and challenging it and working to overcome your struggle.

Re: Ryan Bailey : Thu Jan 21, 2016 10:30 pm  

Seth wrote:

One thing that doesn't support mental health is spending too much time on line and believing some peoples views are representative of the majority.

I've had a predisposition towards depression for about 20 years, and it's only in recent years that ive opened up about it since getting to a point where I didn't want to go on anymore. On top of what is a family history of mental illness I also suffered debilitating arthritis (now controlled with weekly injections) and I had also planned a family with a girlfriend who then had a termination against my will, I'd never been to a lower place.

Through all of this I've used my career in sport development and voluntary coaching (in my 13th year) to give me a purpose. I've worked incredibly hard to better myself through these outlets, seeing a councillor for the last 2 1/2 years and taking medication aswell as overcoming the shame of it and opening up to others. It could have been very easy to give in completely, and I have been at that point, but I feel I deserve more.

Good to hear so many empathetic people.

Again awsome honesty. This is like a support group now

This bit in particular is bang on with me (a long standing predisposition is exactly the right term for me too)....

I've had a predisposition towards depression for about 20 years, and it's only in recent years that ive opened up about it since getting to a point where I didn't want to go on anymore. On top of what is a family history of mental illness