May I take this opportunity to remind everyone who is going on the annual outing to the big City that they need to be at their local public bathhouse for cleansing/de-lousing two hours before the tram departs. You will need a doctors certificate stating you are free from diptheria, smallpox, typhus, syphilis, yellow fever and the bubonic plague otherwise you will be turned away at the border. A packed lunch will be provided consisting of: Black pudding - 1 slice Bread and dripping - 1 slice Tripe - 3lbs Hard Cheese - 1 hard to swallow lump and sour grapes will be provided after the match.
May I remind you also that when travelling through Leeds it will be seen as offensive by the locals to do the following things:
Stare at motorised horseless carriages. (They are quite common here and it may be your first time seeing one)
Dribble
Point and say "ooh" when a flying metal bird goes over.
Smile (The residents of Leeds as remarkable as it sounds do posess more than two teeth)
Thank you for reading (listening to this being read out) this notice, now please enjoy our fair city.
Yours
Hubert Chuffley Leisure and Tourism Leeds City Council
May I take this opportunity to remind everyone who is going on the annual outing to the big City that they need to be at their local public bathhouse for cleansing/de-lousing two hours before the tram departs. You will need a doctors certificate stating you are free from diptheria, smallpox, typhus, syphilis, yellow fever and the bubonic plague otherwise you will be turned away at the border. A packed lunch will be provided consisting of: Black pudding - 1 slice Bread and dripping - 1 slice Tripe - 3lbs Hard Cheese - 1 hard to swallow lump and sour grapes will be provided after the match.
May I remind you also that when travelling through Leeds it will be seen as offensive by the locals to do the following things:
Stare at motorised horseless carriages. (They are quite common here and it may be your first time seeing one)
Dribble
Point and say "ooh" when a flying metal bird goes over.
Smile (The residents of Leeds as remarkable as it sounds do posess more than two teeth)
Thank you for reading (listening to this being read out) this notice, now please enjoy our fair city.
Yours
Hubert Chuffley Leisure and Tourism Leeds City Council
I wouldn't bother reading this bit, there is nothing interesting, witty or insightful down here, just this collection of boring words explaining that you really are wasting your time browsing this signature in the vain and futile hope that there will be a nugget, nay, a veritable goldmine of witticisms or divine philosophy. In reality, all you're going to get is disappointment, a sense of hopelessness and a random word.
