Re: Farewell intercourse law : Fri Apr 27, 2012 4:07 pm  

Dally wrote:

Sick lovers.

I tried to say "Sick bathtubs" or similar.

'Sick barstools' works better.

Can't help thinking this could be a bit nasty if the wife is involved in a really gruesome car crash.



Or is a suicide bomber.

Re: Farewell intercourse law : Fri Apr 27, 2012 5:36 pm  

I'm surprised that nobody has cracked the old dead wife joke.
" The sex is the same, but the ironing is piling up."

Ahh yes, the Arab Spring. Get rid of a dictator, and bring in the Muslim Brotherhood. Egypt will be a no-go country in 5 years.

Re: Farewell intercourse law : Fri Apr 27, 2012 6:24 pm  

Rock God X wrote:

They'll ruin the flooring if they wear them in the house.

Too bloody true, especially the kitchen floor - I always know when my two daughters are back in the house again after a night out on a Friday & Saturday because the next morning their stilleto's (anything between 4" and 6") will be at the back door - I've banned them from walking across the kitchen in them and told the dog he's doing the door for when they come in at stupid o'clock the next morning

Re: Farewell intercourse law : Fri Apr 27, 2012 6:39 pm  

What about a law in Egypt to stop lasses from getting an education ?

Re: Farewell intercourse law : Fri Apr 27, 2012 7:58 pm  

Live Wired wrote:

I'm surprised that nobody has cracked the old dead wife joke.
" The sex is the same, but the ironing is piling up."

Ahh yes, the Arab Spring. Get rid of a dictator, and bring in the Muslim Brotherhood. Egypt will be a no-go country in 5 years.

Must admit, I was wondering about this the other day, about whether or not I have time to visit the pyramids etc.

Re: Farewell intercourse law : Fri Apr 27, 2012 9:19 pm  

Meanwhile mortuary attendants are complaining about 'sloppy seconds'!
I'll get me coat!

Re: Farewell intercourse law : Fri Apr 27, 2012 9:56 pm  

Only problem is it takes 7 hours to unwrap the bandages

Re: Farewell intercourse law : Fri Apr 27, 2012 10:27 pm  

Hutchie wrote:

Only problem is it takes 7 hours to unwrap the bandages

Haha, mumification revival.

Re: Farewell intercourse law : Sat Apr 28, 2012 11:51 am  

Mintball wrote:

Must admit, I was wondering about this the other day, about whether or not I have time to visit the pyramids etc.

Go. We have seen most of the Egyptian sites and they are awesome, especially the Egyptian museum in Cairo and Karnac, well worth adding to your bucket list.

Re: Farewell intercourse law : Mon Apr 30, 2012 5:37 pm  

Reminds of the old English couple who retired to a little house in France, growing their own veg and buying wine and other comestibles in the local market.
The years went by in gentle decline and, one day, the old girl passed peacefully away.

The old boy decided to do her proud and booked the undertaker and the glass hearse drawn by four black horses with black plumes, to have her buried in the local churchyard beneath the swaying cypresses.
He had a black suit and black shoes ... but then realised he didn't have a top hat.

Now, his French had never been brilliant and here he made a mistake ... instead of Chapeau Anglais (Top Hat) he thought it was Capote Anglaise (English Cape ... slang for Condom).

He asked the neighbour where he could get one and got the answer "A la Pharmacie".

He thought it was strange but it was that kind of village, everyone had more than one job, the postman was also the policeman ... maybe the chemist was a hatter as well.

He went into the pharmacie and up to the counter, burnished by thousands of striped elbows.
Ding-a-ding !! and the chemist appeared ...
"Oui M'sieur?".
Out comes the schoolboy French "Je voudrais une capote Anglaise".
"Oui m'sieur ... seulement UNE capote anglaise?"
"Er ... oui"
"... et m'sieur ... quelle couleur?"
"Ah ... er ... noir s'il vous plait"
"Oui m'sieur ... et ... " with a knowing look here "pourquoi noir m'sieur?
"Parce ce que ma femme est mort"

"AAaaah ... bien m'sieur .... c'est vrais ... les Anglaises ... quelle finesse !!!"