I can't be doing with any songs that are laden with transparent schmaltz, fake sincerity or baby-Jesus-ness.
Hence, I'm fine with a little light nonsense from Slade, Wizzard or even Dean Martin ... but want to vomit when I hear Johnny Bleedin' Mathis wheedling out "When a child is born". It's even worse if you actually listen to the words.
Bowie and Crosby, please, no, take it away.
Poor old Bing, not knowing if he's on this earth or Fuller's, wondering who this plonker is that's singing with him.
"Fairytale of New York" ... well, I could never understand how a decent singer like Kirsty McColl could tie up with such a bunch of talentless deadbeats as The Pogues. (From which you'll gather that I don't like that one either).
Cliff Richard should put his mistletoe and wine in a blender and pipe the result up his septuagenarian @rse.
Miserable old git? Yes, now feck off my doorstep.